The Goddess of Lost Potential

She is

a tribute

to unfulfilled potential… 

lighting up another joint;

perfect compliment

to the next glass of wine. 

(red wine stains have to be removed with salt)

Wine stains

easier to remove

than those

which mar

childhood

dreams.

Ranting

about the state of the world;

intellect still shines

through the

drunken stupor. 

All that has been lost

is apparent

beneath the drink and paranoia,

a creative soul,

bound;

lost

to poor choices: 

Mind altering substances

Over a life of substance.

So easy to blame

childhood shames

for every unfulfilled

dream

dreamt.

(If that doesn’t work, you can always blame the kids)

Every goal un-met

surrendered to the altar

of sickly past roots;

blighted growth

worshipped

as God the creator;

the creator

of this

version

of

Her self. 

Should those ribs crack open,

would they expose

something shriveled,

black and dead?

  

Would we turn,

Gagging on the smell

of

rotting potential,

recriminations,

and lost opportunities?

Would there only be

a mere shell

of what once throbbed…

vibrant,

rich and red? 

A head filled of poisonous pus

forever focused

on others’ actions,

evading her own

responsibility. 

Never acknowledging

pains she caused,

or the blessings

hidden 

within each curse. 

Although forgiven,

pity and regret remain.

The future

seems futile

without

hope for change

here.

I flee

knowing that

this

can never be

me.

Yet

this is the womb

that birthed me

in more ways than one. 

The impetus

to my strength

and the resolve

in my character

The negative

role model

who I will

always pray for

even

as I run

the other way.

Katherine Felix

2011-12-30